What is Family Mediation?

Mediation is a process where a professional neutral third party, or family mediator, supports two former partners to discuss and resolve issues relating to agreeing arrangements for a financial separation or arrangements to each spend time with their children. The mediator facilitates communication, promotes understanding and cooperation and focuses the participants on future arrangements rather than past disagreements, helping them explore their interests, needs, and concerns in a structured and supportive environment. Family mediation sessions are typically conducted in a private setting. The family mediator does not make any decisions for the parties.

 

The mediation process is confidential and legally privileged which can create a ‘safe space’ to look at all options which often leads to solutions that are more flexible and sustainable overall, as they are crafted by the participants themselves. The mediator’s role is to facilitate a dialogue that encourages understanding and collaboration.

 

The process is voluntary. Although there is a stronger push from the courts to attend mediation, the process remains voluntary, both for participants but also for the mediator.

 

The mediator is impartial and neutral. The mediator works with parties equally, without taking sides, giving advice or suggesting outcomes but supporting parties to consider the bigger picture and children’s best interests by looking at the global situation.

 

 

What the Family Court Says 

Mediation is an alternative to going to the family court (one of the non-court-dispute-resolution (NCDR) processes) where arrangements for children or financial agreements arrangements can be reached. It provides a more informal and less adversarial alternative to traditional legal proceedings, allowing families to maintain greater control over the outcome of their disputes.

 

Since the 29th of April 2024, the courts are required to check whether applicants to court have tried to resolve their issues via mediation or other ‘non-court dispute resolution’ (NCDR) option before accepting the application. Judges are required to ask participants in the court process (litigants) to explain their thoughts about non-court dispute resolution (NCDR) in the FM5 form and judges can make costs orders against litigants in the court process who are deemed not to have made reasonable attempts to reach an agreement. Providing there are no safety concerns, a judge will want parents to be the ones making decisions for their families and will want separating couples to try to reach a reasonable financial settlement.

 

 

Why Choose Mediation?

 

Family mediation is generally less costly, both financially and emotionally, than going through the family court. Proceedings in the Family Court can take on average between 6 and 18 months to reach a final hearing and can be very stressful.  Many mediation cases can take 2 to 3 mediation sessions to resolve matters which is considerably quicker and less costly.

 

Whilst the prospect of meeting with a former partner in mediation can cause apprehension, the role of the mediator is to support both participants to safely work towards reaching an agreement which is in the best interests of the family as a whole. The mediator discusses how to support each of you at your individual, confidential MIAM mediation assessment meetings, and then uses that information to support you to maintain control over your decisions to avoid court and delegating decision-making to a judge who may end up ordering something neither participant wanted.   

 

Mediation can often help to improve coparenting communication which can reduce conflict and pay dividends for years to come.

 

 

 

What are the benefits of family mediation?

 

Here are some of the benefits of using family mediation to resolve disputes:

  • Family mediation supports families through challenging times and restructuring.

  • Family mediation does not have adversarial approach like court, where people often try to ‘win’ against each other, without looking at the overall picture.

  • Family mediators do not take sides, make judgements, or give advice. The role is very different from instructing a solicitor or having a judge make decisions as the family mediator has a duty to each of you and is therefore listening for ‘win: win’ situations which will work for each of you. 

  • Mediation keeps decision-making in the hands of the participants. The family mediator is there to support families to make their own decisions about their future.

  • The mediation process is much less stressful for families, and it reinforces and strengthens effective communications between the people taking part.

  • It is in your children’s best interests. Nowadays, we have a greater understanding of the impact of conflict on children. The more that parents can reach agreement, the more positive are the long-term mental health outcomes for their children.

  • Attending family mediation is generally quicker than going to court. The National Audit Report stated that the mediation route takes an average of 110 days, compared with 435 days for non-mediated cases. This is a substantive saving of 325 days (10.5 months).

  • Family mediation is usually cheaper than going to court. The National Audit Report of 2012 states that the average cost per client for mediation was £675. The average cost per client for cases going to court was £2,823, which meant there was an average saving of £2,148. Eight years later, it is anticipated that the savings will be even greater as mediation tends to lead to better long term outcomes for families.

 

 

How long does family mediation take?

 

The duration of family mediation can vary significantly depending on various factors, including the complexity of the issues involved (such as complex finances) and the complexity of the emotions of the participants. While some cases may be resolved in just a few sessions, others may require several sessions spread out over weeks or months.

 

On average, a typical family mediation process may span anywhere from a few weeks to several months. Initial sessions are often used to clarify issues, establish trust, and begin exploring potential solutions. As the mediation progresses, participants may need additional time to gather information, consider options, and negotiate terms.

 

The family mediator plays a crucial role in helping the participants stay focused, manage conflicts, and move towards resolution efficiently.

 

Ultimately, the goal of family mediation is to reach a mutually acceptable agreement that addresses the participants’ needs and concerns. While some cases may be resolved relatively quickly, others may require more time and effort to achieve a satisfactory outcome. However, the relief at reaching an agreed outcome, whether quickly or over a period of weeks/months cannot be underestimated.

 

 

How to apply for family mediation service?

 

To apply for family mediation, you must contact a mediation service to inquire about availability, fees, and procedures. Next, you can schedule an initial meeting to discuss your concerns and assess whether mediation is appropriate.

 

We offer an online MIAM appointment within 48 hours of booking, or even sooner. This includes options for scheduling during lunch breaks or before your children need to be picked up from school.

 

 

Is family mediation service legally binding?

 

While agreements in mediation are not legally binding, both participants can opt to formalise them via legal processes after mediation has concluded. This is a standard next step following an agreed proposal in mediation. Agreements reached in mediation tend to be lasting agreements (which can then fold into legally binding agreements) because each participant has had the opportunity to road test all available options and to consider the outcomes for each participant of each option considered.

 

In the context of divorce mediation, agreements covering property division, child custody/arrangements, and support payments are typically documented by the mediator. Participants in mediation then have documents to take to solicitors and/or other professionals such as financial advisers, to seek further advice before coming to a final, firm agreement.

 

 

What if we don’t reach an agreement in family mediation?

 

Whilst mediation can be very successful in resolving family disputes and facilitating positive agreements, there are sometimes cases where mediation is unable to resolve all issues in a situation. It is generally best to attempt mediation, and the courts actively encourage this, because at the very least, participants might succeed in ‘narrowing the issues’.

 

If you do not reach an agreement at mediation, the mediator will sign the necessary court form, and the case can then be heard by a judge or a magistrate.

 

It is always to be remembered, that during the mediation process, the decision making is in your hands. In court you give it over and lose that control.  

 

 

Is mediation compulsory in family law?

 

In the UK, mediation is not compulsory for divorcing or separating couples, but it is strongly encouraged by the courts as a way to resolve disputes amicably and avoid costly and adversarial litigation. Since April 2014, before applying to the court for certain family law matters, such as child arrangements or financial disputes, couples are required to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM). During the MIAM, an accredited mediator explains the benefits of mediation and assesses whether mediation is suitable for the couple’s situation.

 

 

When is family mediation a not appropriate service?

 

There are exceptions where attending mediation for a divorce may not be required or may not be appropriate:

  • If there is evidence of domestic abuse or violence, mediation may not be considered safe or appropriate, and alternative dispute resolution methods may be explored.

  • If there are urgent issues that require immediate court intervention, such as safeguarding concerns or emergency financial matters, mediation may not be required before applying to the court.

  • If one party refuses to attend mediation or if mediation is unsuccessful in resolving the dispute, the couple may proceed to court for a resolution.

The Family Mediation Process

 Family mediation typically follows a structured process designed to facilitate productive communication and negotiation between the participants involved. While the specifics may vary depending on the mediator and the circumstances of the case, the general steps involved in family mediation are as follows.

 

The MIAM (Mediation Information Assessment Meeting)

We start the mediation process by meeting the two parties individually to assess with each of you whether mediation is a suitable process for you, whether each of you is willing to participate voluntarily and what each of you would wish to discuss.

Usually, one of the participants contacts a mediation service provider to discuss the feasibility of mediation for their dispute. During the MIAM assessment meeting, the mediator will as lots of questions about your circumstances to gather background information, assess concerns and priorities and manage expectations. Each participant attends a separate and confidential MIAM. The mediator will also give information about the process and the costs involved, the benefits of mediation along with other services available and will signpost to other professionals such as divorce coaches or financial planners who might be helpful in your circumstances.

The mediator will make an assessment with you as to whether mediation is appropriate. Following this meeting, the other participant(s) may be invited to attend one of these initial meetings.

 

Joint Meetings

Once the MIAMs have been completed for both clients we then look to bring you into a meeting together to discuss arrangements.   Although most participants do not look forward to joining one another in a meeting, this is generally a constructive way to try to find an agreement which works for each of you.

The mediation service typically occurs in a neutral venue or online. It starts with the mediator explaining the rules and process. Followed by the participants agreeing an agenda to work through. Both participants agree to participate in mediation and sign an agreement that outlines the rules and confidentiality of the process in the Agreement to Mediate. In some cases, each participant prepares for the mediation by gathering necessary documents to bring to the session. The mediator facilitates discussions regarding these agenda points and explores potential proposals for resolution. Sessions can vary in length, but often last between one and two hours.

During these sessions, both participants meet with the mediator to discuss the issues at hand, express their perspectives, and work towards finding mutually acceptable solutions. The mediator facilitates communication, ensures that discussions remain focused and respectful, and helps participants explore potential options for resolution.

The mediator assists the participants in identifying and prioritising the issues that need to be addressed. They also encourage participants to express their underlying interests, needs, and concerns rather than focusing solely on their positions. This process helps uncover common ground and areas where compromises can be made.

The mediator supports participants to work together to evaluate the proposed solutions and negotiate the terms of an agreement. The mediator helps manage any conflicts or disagreements that arise, encourages constructive dialogue, and assists in bridging gaps between the participants.

Mediators bring a lot of experience of family law but also the psychology of separation to support you both to be able to say the things that you each feel are important, to be able to listen to what the other participant also feels is important and then to try to find a mutually acceptable agreement.

Outcome Statements

If the participants reach a consensus on all issues, the family mediator assists in drafting an agreement that outlines the terms of their agreed proposals. The agreement may address issues such as child arrangements, division of assets, financial support, and any other relevant matters. Summaries of the key discussions/agreements/action points that the end of individual mediation sessions are provided.

 

Once you have reached a financial agreement, the mediator can draft a Memorandum of Understanding and an Open Financial Statement which can form the basis of the D81 and draft consent order documents that will need to be submitted to court.

 

Once you have reached agreement about arrangements for children, this can be drafted into a parenting plan. A helpful document to begin to consider drafting a Parenting Plan is the Cafcass Parenting Plan.

 The mediator facilitates discussions regarding these agenda points and explores potential proposals for resolution. Sessions can vary in length, but often last between one and two hours.

Overall, family mediation relies on collaboration, communication, and problem-solving to help families resolve conflicts and reach agreements that meet their unique needs and circumstances.

 

Online Mediation

Online MIAMs and mediations can be done by either Zoom, WhatsApp Video or FaceTime. 

We have acquired all the necessary provisions to ensure that our online services maintain the same professional standards as in person sessions. 

Impartiality and confidentiality remain our priorities, and our mediators take all the necessary steps to ensure that the principles of mediation are upheld and are being respected. For example, we may ask you to pan the room with your webcam to show you are alone in the meeting.

Online mediation is as effective and useful as it is in person sessions and some may say that it comes with additional benefits for the participants, such as saving traveling costs and time.

We are happy to make adjustments that are right for you. If you have any concerns or problems, get in touch with us and a member of our team can talk this through with you.